Building Relationships and Finding Your Champions

Clay Hicks [00:00:00]:
The best advice I can give is the more, proactive you are, the more prepared you are to show up to the meetings, you will be filling your calendar with people that you know you wanna meet with. 

Jeffro [00:00:19]:
Welcome back to another episode of Digital Dominance. We’ve talked a lot about different tactics and strategies on the show so far, but many of them cost money. So what do you do if you’re just starting out or you don’t have a budget yet? How do you connect with prospects or potential partners when the only thing you have to invest is time? Now the answer for most people is the same. It’s networking. It’s an important skill to have, and it can help you grow your business in significant ways if you do it correctly. My guest today is an expert in relationship building. Clay Hicks is the founder of h seven Networks, one of the fastest growing online networking groups in the country. He’s also a contributing author to the sales fusion book, and he’s the man behind the connect, serve, and ask framework that he teaches to his h seven members.

Jeffro [00:01:03]:
So thanks for being here, Clay, and welcome to the show.

Clay Hicks [00:01:05]:
Thanks for having me, Jeffro. I’ve been looking forward to it.

Jeffro [00:01:08]:
Thank you. Me too. I know with schedules, sometimes it takes a while to get together, but we’re here. Yeah. So let’s let’s talk about this. You know, I consider networking to be One of the many channels that fall under the big umbrella of marketing. Unfortunately, when many people start networking, they go about it all wrong. They’re mainly thinking about themselves with the short term mindset looking for what they can get out of it.

Jeffro [00:01:30]:
So can you give us your take on a better way to network?

Clay Hicks [00:01:34]:
Yeah. So, a better way to network, well so in what I’ve learned over the years, Jeffro, is that networking has its place. Word-of-mouth marketing has its place. Networking is where it kind of all begins. And so, the best place to start is to have the greatest possible understanding that you can at the time with the first few steps in it. Right? So your 1st step is going to an event. Your 2nd step is what? To get into a 1 to 1. Right? And so so as long as you have those 2 step that 2 step down, focusing your energies around Going to the event, inviting somebody to the 1 to 1, and then doing a 1 to 1 focused around earning trust with each other are the 2 very practical simple steps you would begin with.

Jeffro [00:02:33]:
Can you talk a little bit about your framework, the ConnectServe ASK framework, and how that applies?

Clay Hicks [00:02:38]:
Yeah. I can. So so ConnectServe and ASK first of all, I’ll just share a brief Short story where it comes from, it took me 3,001 to ones to develop that. That took me 4 years to accomplish. K? So connect, serve, and ask comes from a very special place. And so, ConnectServant asked high level objective is it’s a communication strategy around focusing on earning trust with others so that like and no follow. Now I understand that that’s very high level, But the simplistic view is connect, serve, and ask following those 3 fundamentals enable you to connect with the other person. Right? Serve the other person and then ask of the other person.

Clay Hicks [00:03:28]:
And every element has a process and part of it, of course. For example, connecting, you should focus your time around Active listening. Like, that’s one thing, like, if you were to do is make sure you’re doing a good job of active listening and ask asking open ended questions that allows you to connect. Serving. So serving is literally seeing how you can help the other person. Right? I don’t know if you know this, but the average person doing a 1 to 1, Serving is, like, the last thing that really happens. Okay? And a lot of that stems from just not knowing, not knowing what you don’t know. But that serving piece is vital to you being able to earn somebody else’s trust.

Clay Hicks [00:04:23]:
K? Asking asking. When you’re the one serving, you also need to make sure you ask. And for the altruists in the room that might be listening, It’s important that you do ask, and you ask so that you give the other person a chance to earn your trust. You’re not doing it selfishly. You’re trying to do it mutually beneficially so that both people have a opportunity to earn trust. Hope that was simple enough.

Jeffro [00:04:53]:
Yeah. No. That’s great. And my next question, though, is because you touched on it. Right? People go into it with the Ask mentality first. Right? What do I get out of this? But what about when business is slow, they feel like they need to get more clients ASAP. How do you get people to make that mental shift?

Clay Hicks [00:05:10]:
Oh, man. That’s that’s a good one. So somebody’s somebody is desperate for business, More or less is what we’re talking about here. Right? Like, I gotta close a deal. I gotta feed my family, whatever that is. This is that one thing that you cannot crunch. You you you It’s like breathing, like you have to breathe every day, and so the mindset really if you go into it, That mindset you have to maintain is I’m trying to earn their trust. I’m trying to earn their trust.

Clay Hicks [00:05:48]:
Okay? And I know that sounds really funky and a little and a little, cultish, that’s not what I’m getting at, but but the The service to that other person, like that Digital, like you have to have that mindset. If you don’t, then your 1 to 1 can turn out to be very transactional. It’s kinda like, how how do I say this the best I can? So, like, if you Want to grow your business by the end of the year, there are certain steps that you have to take. Right? You lay out a plan, you lay out a strategy, this blah blah blah blah. If you deviate from that process and you start, you know, crushing things on your table with a with a hammer, You’ve destroyed something, so it’s the same kind of concept. Mindset has to be either I’m trying to earn another person’s trust Or I may not get another shot, and this person may actually be able to help me, so I have to, like, slow things down, have a positive mindset the best I can going into it.

Jeffro [00:06:49]:
Right. So beforehand, just take stock of where you’re at, set your desperation aside for a moment, Focus on how to best approach this person and serve them. And that way, it’ll be a good interaction and hopefully move things forward.

Clay Hicks [00:07:03]:
Yeah. On top of that, you wanna be prepared. You almost have, like, this expectation if you’re earning somebody else’s trust or delivering a connect serve and ask 1 to 1. You expect to gain value from also being in there. And that helps you by being prepared. So, yes, mindset shift is there, but your other mindset is I need to be prepared for this meeting.

Jeffro [00:07:25]:
So I think it’s pretty obvious that if both people go into a meeting With that mentality, it’s gonna be a great meeting. What if the other person doesn’t know this framework and you’re trying to connect with them and serve them and they just They’re not in that mindset.

Clay Hicks [00:07:41]:
Yeah. So, when you’re, obviously, I have a lot of experience with that, because most of my 7,400 one to ones I’ve done is with people not in the community. Right? That’s where I count that number at. And so being prepared under so when you’re with somebody else that doesn’t know that framework, there is a mindset of making sure that you’re managing that conversation. K? Managing that conversation. And there are certain things that you can do that can help you do that. Okay? So, for example, If you and I are in a 1 to 1, connecting is going to happen. That that’s that’s like a given, so you understand.

Clay Hicks [00:08:22]:
Everybody kinda understands that you’re gonna talk in the beginning. Right? Yeah. When it goes to serve or let’s skip that part. If somebody comes at you and they just try to start selling you during that connection time and they’re like, oh, I do this and I do that and I do this. Would you like to buy this more or less? The way in which you handle that is you one of the key things you can say is, well, we’re not here to do that. I’m I’m here to get to know each other with you, get to know you better, and see how we can help each other. That is 1 comment that you can make and and really manage and guide that conversation.

Jeffro [00:09:05]:
Alright. That’s helpful. And next question is, in your opinion, what’s a successful outcome from a networking interaction? So There’s obviously the group meetings where, okay, maybe trying to get a one to 1, but then there’s individual Digital to ones. If you’re just trying to connect and build that trust, what’s the next Step, how do you know you did it right, or how do you measure your yourself on that?

Clay Hicks [00:09:29]:
Yeah. Yeah. So, number 1, did you have something to do to follow-up with from that 1 to 1 with that person? Do you have something to follow-up with from that 1 to 1? If you leave that 1 to 1 and there’s nothing for you to do except for you to go back to your day, That is a major, major metric to recognize that you did your part. Did I do my part? If that other now the other side of that coin is if the other person owes you something, That also makes it a kind of a successful one to 1 as well. And when I say owe you something, I don’t mean they have to owe you an introduction. They can owe you whatever they’ve said they will do for you. And that’s where the mutual trust starts to come into play. So I did my part to earn trust, but did Jeffro? Right? Did Jeffro have something for me as well? Is there something he said that he would do for me or do with me or whatever that is? So it’s basically anything that you need to follow-up with after that 1 to 1 is how you can kinda gauge that success.

Jeffro [00:10:37]:
Gotcha. Yeah. So if you’re like, okay. Nice meeting you. Bye. And you go your separate ways, okay. That was kind of a loss and a waste of time.

Clay Hicks [00:10:44]:
Yeah. Yeah. It is a 100%. Yep. Yeah.

Jeffro [00:10:48]:
Now there’s another, as we’re talking about this, so the obvious Outcome at some point is more business. Right? It’s what people ought to think about with networking. Right? But you could also get, referral partners, and you use the term champion a lot to describe someone who brings you business. So is a champion the same thing as a referral partner, and how do you kind of Create that relationship.

Clay Hicks [00:11:13]:
Yeah. Good question. So champion is our own relation my own relationship concept. And that is a relationship concept based on word-of-mouth marketing. Referral partner is more of a relationship concept around networking. K? Okay. So referral partner and a champion are different. A referral partner is somebody you have built trust with.

Clay Hicks [00:11:36]:
There’s mutual trust that has been earned. One’s not better than the other, and I’m not claiming which one is better, but the referral partner, and the champion, both you’ve built trust with. The difference between the 2 is the unpredictability around the referral partner. And in the champion relationship, you actually have the ability to develop predictable results from that relationship by following our processes and our agendas and all that.

Jeffro [00:12:05]:
Awesome. And you have trainings for that, when people become a member.

Clay Hicks [00:12:08]:
Yeah. We do. We do. So we have 7 hours worth of training that our members can take.

Jeffro [00:12:13]:
Awesome. What about, there there’s so many options for networking groups. Right? There’s BNI, there’s h seven. There’s there’s thousands of them. Right? You can Google it and find a whole bunch. Some in person, some are virtual. So In your experience, is it better to focus on just a few networking groups consistently? Is it better to cast a wider net, go to as many groups as possible? What’s your recommendation for someone being effective when it comes to a networking approach to business?

Clay Hicks [00:12:41]:
Yeah. I definitely encourage you to belong to more than 1 group. K? Now I know finances come into play and budgets come into play as well. Mhmm. But I highly recommend you’re in more than 1 group. And on top of that, Free groups are fine, but you gotta find the right ones because not everybody has the same level. Everybody has the same level of investment, which is nothing except for time.

Jeffro [00:13:03]:
Right. Well, time can be a big investment too. Right? And that’s something you have to factor in.

Clay Hicks [00:13:07]:
And so, like, in a b to b person such as yourself, you may be just fine in a group that’s kind of mixed. Right? Because you you have your realtors, your mortgage brokers, your contractors, things like that if it’s an in person, or more of a mixture of b to b and b to c. Some folks, like a a fractional, is have a little bit harder time or can have a little bit more challenges around what groups to form or to participate in. So it just depends on the type of profession you’re in, But I would definitely recommend a couple groups, 2 to 3.

Jeffro [00:13:40]:
Awesome. Yeah. And that makes sense. But it it is something you have to be aware of is your calendar. Right? So You’d wanna avoid filling up your calendar with 1 to 1 meetings that end up feeling like a waste of time, where you do, you walk away without any action items Probably because you didn’t want any. Like, why did I meet with this person? I think sometimes for people in certain groups, you know, they might have metrics that they’re trying to hit. So their goal might be 10 one to ones rather than connecting with each person, and so they’re just gonna schedule meeting with you Even though it doesn’t seem like it would be a good fit. So how do you avoid that pitfall?

Clay Hicks [00:14:15]:
Well so, If you are one that is getting the the best advice I can give is the more, proactive you are, the more prepared you are to show up to the meetings, you will be filling your calendar with people that you know you wanna meet with, the types of profession, of course. If you’re the one that is getting everybody’s scheduling with you and they’re being proactive with you, you semi lose control of that. Right? So the more you are putting out energy of who you wanna meet and executing your mindset in in or, Yeah. Executing your plan. Sorry. Executing your plan of I’m gonna go to this group. My goal is this many one to ones. You’re going to mitigate some of that accidental people just scheduling with you because you’re not being very proactive and intentional.

Jeffro [00:15:10]:
Yeah. And I think At the beginning, when you’re given your intro of who you are, that’s when you can say, instead of, oh, I’m just looking to meet people, you say, I’m looking to meet accountants in Massachusetts. Right? Something specific.

Clay Hicks [00:15:21]:
Yep. Yeah. When you get in there, based on the words you say, now we’re talking about in inside the experience, if you are If you say, like you say, you’re looking for accountants. Well, if you say you’re looking for accountants and people have those accountants for you or whatever, Like, you spoke that into infamy. You said the words. So if somebody over here that is a, whatever, name the profession wants to do an e do an introduction or doing 1 to 1 with Jeffro, they’re probably gonna say, hey. Which be open to doing a 1 to 1 because they heard what you said. So they’ll respond according to what you say.

Jeffro [00:15:59]:
Nice. And and that brings I wanted to ask you. You have on your LinkedIn banner there’s a quote that says intentionality feeds your pipeline. Can you share a story or a case study that demonstrates how that plays out in practice?

Clay Hicks [00:16:12]:
It has a lot to do with intentionality behind the words you say, the energy you put out there, all that stuff, instead of just sitting around waiting for something to happen and being reactive. So if you go out and you communicate that, then people are the more and more you say it, the more you the more you put it out there, the more the chances are that’s what’s going to be in your pipeline. Right? There’s a level of belief around it. There’s a manifestation that comes with it. You’re prepared. You know what you’re looking for. All that stuff matters. So the intentionality behind it is saying the words to feed your pipeline.

Jeffro [00:16:49]:
That makes sense. And I imagine there’s a little bit of iteration there too because when you’re new to networking or you’re working on your intro, you may not get it right. And you might start noticing, Hey. These people are coming to me. They say they’re you know, it’s what I said I wanted, but it actually isn’t what I wanted. So I need to kind of tweak how I say that. Right?

Clay Hicks [00:17:06]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jeffro [00:17:08]:
I’ve heard some business coaches say that when you’re networking, you need to be selling through the other person rather than simply to them or talking with them. What’s your take on that?

Clay Hicks [00:17:17]:
Yes. So we say sell through the room, not to the room. And that’s whether that’s in a group setting or a one to 1 setting. And what that means is is you are communicating with that person that you need help or that group that you need help. But what you’re not saying is, hey. Do you need a website? I’m looking for you. Have you ever been in a networking meeting where somebody had said, I’m looking For people or I’m looking for you, that that is that you’re you’re you’re putting you’re literally selling to the room. Like, you’re speaking the words.

Clay Hicks [00:17:52]:
So it should always be, what is the word I’m looking for? Objective. Objective. You start saying, I’m looking for you in the room or I’m looking for people with skin or I’m looking for everyone. You might as well say nothing. And At that point, chances are everybody knows you’re just looking to sell them something.

Jeffro [00:18:10]:
Right. So getting really clear on who you want to be working with and then Sharing that. That’s the intentionality upfront, and then people want to help you. Right? There’s that reciprocity there, especially if you’re coming with you connect first. Right? And if you’re Providing value or you’re being likable and friendly and helpful, people wanna return that favor, and that’s when it starts to, become an effective tool. Right?

Clay Hicks [00:18:34]:
That is correct. Yep.

Jeffro [00:18:36]:
So, Clay, are there any other common mistakes that you see people making when it comes to networking?

Clay Hicks [00:18:41]:
Yeah. There’s this one I like to talk about, which is called the connection merry-go-round, which is basically people just keep introducing you to your next COI, and there’s no meaning behind it. There’s no shared target markets. They whatever it is, it’s just really light. And that that is very popular. And Some of your guests listening this may understand this. They end up getting into a bunch of 1 to ones, but they just keep getting introduced to the next connection, the next connection, the next connection. So along the same lines, what we’re talking about is being clear about who you want, who you wanna meet, solves that problem.

Clay Hicks [00:19:30]:
So if you and I are in a 1 to 1, Jeffro, and I say, who would you like to meet? You need to be very clear about who you’re looking for, And that’s in the b to b space, you wanna ask for industry first. Industry first. And so if you say the industry, then it’s much easier for me to open up my network to that exact industry you’re looking for instead of leaving it up to to me to guess.

Jeffro [00:19:56]:
Yeah. And I think that’s a a great reminder. Just to be clear, I mean, we’ve talked about it a lot, the intentionality, and, I I love how much thought and intentionality you’ve put into your framework and the way you cultivate these relationships and how you train your members to do the same because Everybody wins, right, when you do that. Rising tide lifts all ships. So, I just wanna say thank you, Clay, for doing that. Thank you for joining me today and sharing your insights. For everybody listening, make sure you go to check out H7 Networks. We’ll put a link in the description.

Jeffro [00:20:28]:
They’ve got a ton of virtual meeting options along with some in person groups, And they even let you check out a couple of meetings for free before you have to become a member. You’ve got nothing to lose. And I can tell you from experience, it’s a great group of people. We’re very eager to connect and serve each other. They do play this out and follow this framework very well. So, Clay, do you have any closing thoughts that you’d like to leave us with?

Clay Hicks [00:20:48]:
Yeah. So I will say this. So best wishes to everybody listening in 2024. When it comes to networking, don’t give up too fast. Don’t give up too fast. Like, there might you know, speak to somebody who may be able to support you, open up that vulnerability to ask for help, that’s what I’d leave you with. Open up the open up your vulnerability to ask for help for what you’re looking for because people will show up when you ask for it.

Jeffro [00:21:17]:
Love that. Be intentional. Speak it out. Alright. Thanks again, Clay, for being here. Thanks to all of you for listening, and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.